Good Morning Sunshine

My daughter is a morning person. Ironically, I used to be a morning person before I had a daughter, now all I want is sleep. Yet, every morning... I find myself awake before the sunshine hits the window panes. I stumble down the stairs for some couch cuddling while she drinks a sippy cup and watches her shows.

Bedtime is irrelevant, we will be getting up at 6 am forever. At least, that's what I've decided after several months of getting up between 6 am and 7 am. Once I got to sleep in until 7:30, false hope was fun.

So now I find myself making busy work by 8 am to try and stay awake. I hate coffee and 6 am Pepsi with ice leaves you with indigestion and cold hands. So I bump around downstairs between the kitchen (doing dishes) and the living room (sighing at the mess already being made on the floor). I sing along to children's TV shows and sometimes I dance around in my big robe and my bare feet to make her laugh.

Then the first nap comes and every SINGLE day I find myself playing pro & con list in my head about whether it's good to take a nap while she naps or to start applying for jobs and searching the web. Usually I compromise and I look for jobs for awhile before I take a nap that ends up being 30 minutes or less before she wakes up.

I find myself tired every night at bedtime which is new for the girl who used to sleep 3-5 hours a night. With being tired come an entourage of strange dreams. Dreams that are liquid and illogical and still seem oh so very real.

Last night I dreamt we woke up early and watched the sunrise. So today we went outside in the early morning and we took out the mail as the sun was coming up. My daughter, a little cold and a little bitter I had taken her away from the house in the near dark...clung to me for a minute.

Then the sun came to greet us and her eyes opened wide. She pointed at the sky and said "no Bad" ( I couldn't dream something that...well... that Layla)

Oh well...

at least I tried.