Solace

There is a space in my mind where the whispers are quiet. The voice that tells me that today I am not enough is pale and distant. In that corner of my mind I can ignore the looming feeling that the devil puts in my heart. The voice tells me that in my misery I am alone, that there is no hope, that I will fail and that no one will love me.

The voice is not my own. Inside my soul I have a light. The light is dim sometimes but it is never vanquished. In the light I can see my hope. The warmth of the light thaws the parts of me that feel aching and cold. In the light I know I am loved. The light is quiet and alone and yet it always makes me feel like the space it is in is surrounded by a protection so great my mind can not understand it.

In that space in my mind where the light is and the noise in quiet I find words. Words that spill over on to paper like water overflowing the edges of a river after the storm. The words recklessly shower all around me spreading fast and furiously amongst what is already there. As I try to scoop up the words I need some of them slip through my fingers.

As I watch them slip past me I am both anxious and calm. I am nervous about the words I will not be able to grasp and I am calm because I know the words I have in my hand will be enough if I use them wisely.

So I sit. I sit in a world field with noise. And in that noise I find my solace. The one word I have caught today will be enough. The word is comfort, safety, adventure and longing all in one. It is both the scariest word and the most liberating word I know. It is the word that describes the quiet spot in my mind, the light in my darkness, and even the noise around me.

The word is grace.

Grace be my solace.


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